At the end of pregnancy, the baby is dancing in the belly, and you look forward to your meeting. Sit down, have a cup of tea, and read the list of things that, although prominent in theory, often escape in practice. You know a lot, you've probably read a lot, and yet somewhere in the back of your head, you're still wondering if you've thought about everything. Prominently don't have to - you have a cheat sheet.
- Take a rest
You've probably heard it a thousand times before. That's good because it is essential. We'll tell you the same thing because while everyone knows it, the practice is different. Get as much sleep as possible, and relax as much as possible. Do something for yourself, fulfill your wishes, and breathe. But really.
You are in for a difficult time. Also, physically (and we are not talking about childbirth here because even the most hardcore ends sometime). We are talking about those moments when you have to care for a baby in pain. When it's going to hurt to sit on your butt, or when you have a cesarean wound, you figure out how to get your baby to your breast. About those moments when your baby will need you all the time (and no wonder, for nine months, he had you close for 24 hours). About how you will have to find yourself in a new situation and organize everyday life after returning home.
The beginnings are always hard, especially when you don't feel confident. The baby will cry, the day will go off-balance, and it may be challenging to find time to rest before you have established your rituals and learned yourself. You're not getting enough sleep. You know. But really, get some rest while you can. Mentally and physically. Later it won't be that easy.
- Don't settle for anything
And certainly not for a dream birth, although there are such cases. Childbirths happen before, on time, and after, and their course depends on many factors. More likely than everything will go according to your plan, things will happen that you didn't plan.
Remember what is most important to you and try to focus on it. But not at all costs. You may dream of an unmedicalized birth, and they will give you oxytocin anesthesia, or you may want anesthesia, which you will not get because it will be too late. Despite your best wishes, your child may perform poorly, or his heart rate may drop. You may need to use forceps or a vacuum or end up giving birth to a cesarean for many hours, which you did not plan at all.
Remember, have a plan for a good thing, but life writes different scenarios. Open up to other options. Then it will be easier for you to come to terms with the fact that some part of the plan has just collapsed.
- Have those you trust around you
Husband, boyfriend, fiance, partner, sister, friend, mother, cousin or midwife. Your choice. But have that person or persons.
First of all: support you, stroke you, motivate you
Second: take care of your interests when you are not sober (and sometimes you will not) or have no strength to fight things other than childbirth (e.g. papermaking, good treatment, attention from medical staff).
Third: you'll feel better. Elemental delivery usually takes several hours. It's easier to have a loved one right now, even if you sometimes want to throw them out the door or bite them.
And fourth: photos for the album. You don't think you'll want a chirping selfie between contractions. And even if you don't need photos of the birth process, you would like to have the first photo of your baby with mom.
- Remember that you don't have to agree to everything
At the hospital, you have to sign many papers. You will have to agree to various things. Remember, however, that you don't have to agree to everything. At every stage of your stay in the hospital.
Nobody has the right to feed your baby without your consent and vaccinate him without your permission. You may not agree to some treatments and may be present at each examination if you wish. You can (and should) protest loudly when you feel your rights are not being respected or when someone wants to do something against you or your rules.
Even if you are facing a Caesarean section, you have the right to skin-to-skin contact, and if not you, his father may be next to the child. Nobody has the right to take your baby overnight just because you had a cesarean. If everything is okay with you and your baby, you can have them with you all the time, and nurses and midwives should help you when you don't know something or need that help.
- Don't let anyone tell you this….
Here the list goes on. If the baby is crying, he is hungry (he can call for a thousand other reasons), and if he is hungry, that is, you do not have milk or not enough milk and you need to feed your baby. In most cases, giving a bottle of formula milk to the hospital is an easy and often the first step to problems in the lactation path. Your little one only needs a few drops of colostrum to start with, and the more you put on, the sooner you can make lactation work.
Don't believe that the answer to any problems is a bottle; do not give your baby a pacifier if lactation has not yet returned to normal
The milk does not need to be squeezed out of the breast; your breasts don't have to be swollen, and you don't need to check the amount of milk with a breast pump or weigh your baby before and after feeding. Don't let anyone tell you that your nipples are too flat so you won't be able to breastfeed, or that your breasts are too big / too small to feed (even a "difficult" breast can be fed to your baby, but sometimes you need help).
- Don't be afraid to use the help of specialists
Midwives or neonatal nurses are usually people with extensive knowledge and experience, but this does not mean that they are specialists in the field of lactation. Most, unfortunately, are not. And although they most often help to latch the baby to the breast for the first time, they will not be able to help you with many lactation problems.
If you want to feed and you care about feeding, fight for it if you need to. When your baby has problems with sucking, and properly grasping the breasts, when your nipples are injured, when your baby has trouble gaining weight, or if you have doubts about whether your feeding is okay, contact a lactation specialist for help. You can find a list of certified lactation advisors and their contact on the Internet.
Go to a specialist every time you notice a problem and the pediatrician is downplaying the matter or blaming your milk for the problem. A pediatrician is not a gastrologist, neurologist, allergist, orthopedist, ophthalmologist, physiotherapist, dietician, or lactation advisor. Remember that.
- Don't schizzy. Or at least try it
After you give birth, your hormones will go haywire. You can deal with them better or worse. You can simultaneously jump in your head for joy and cry for no reason. You may get baby blues. You may feel that everything is going wrong and that you suck. This will pass (if not, see point 6 and ask a specialist for help).
You can also, Mom, do all sorts of things. For example, approach a sleeping baby a thousand times, checking if it is breathing. You may be afraid that he lives too loud / too quiet, eats too long / too short, sleep too long / too fast, his eyes are a bit squinting, or he looks somehow strange at times, or he holds this hand somehow, and somehow more he moves his foot with one foot, or the finger somehow bends.
He is too warm/cold and may not go for a walk with him because it is spring/winter/summer/autumn, and he can get too much of this sun or just not enough. And even if the temperature is ok, he can wear a thicker cap because the wind can somehow get into this gondola and wrap his ears….
Yes…. As a young mom, you will probably start to worry too much. Be aware that it is usually unnecessary. In most cases, there are no problems and everything is fine with the baby.
- Puerperium is for something. Use it
You'll be back with the baby from the hospital. You're going to start organizing your home life. It will be fantastic, but at times challenging. Give yourself time, and don't forget about yourself. Then remember that you just gave birth. You gave birth to a man. Do you get it? You are the heroine! You deserve a medal.
Then don't expect too much of yourself. Just focus on what's important. Washing, ironing, cooking, vacuuming ... Damnn...ignore it. Your husband or boyfriend can take care of it, and your mother, mother-in-law, or friend can help you. Focus on your baby and yourself. On your family. In a new situation. For you together.
The child will probably want to be with you all the time - let him do it. YOU HAVE TIME FOR IT. Who said you couldn't stay in bed with your baby for two days if you feel like it? Lie down. BLESS YOU.
Would you like to receive guests? Who said you have to? It is known that grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins , and friends want to see the baby, but they may as well wait with it. If you spend the first few moments just the three of you, mom, dad, and baby - do it - you have the right to do so.
Sleep while your baby is asleep if you need it. Do not look critically at your body (for nine months, it has changed for a child, so do not expect that it will return to form in a few days - after all, it just gave birth to a human and needs time to regenerate). Don't carry heavy things so as not to hurt yourself. Don't expect too much of yourself - you're a superhero anyway.
The puerperium is there for you to recover. Your body rests after the effort, and you and the child learn to cooperate and cooperate with each other. Use this time. For myself. For you. For your family.